just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
