i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
