Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
