I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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