You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
