You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
