glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
