Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
