Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
