is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
