When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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