Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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