I can't watch pbs sober anymore
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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