i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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