Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
