dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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