I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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