just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
