Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
