Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
