There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
