It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
