Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize