You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
