I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
