I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
