too bad you live with your parents still
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
