Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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