My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He passed out mid-signature
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
