I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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