one two three fourrrrnication!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
