you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
