where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
