there's paper in my vomit.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
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