He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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