I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You're a waste of cheezeits
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
