Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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