I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Your cock deserves a montage
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
