May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
he just fucked me for my cheese.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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