just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
