As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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