this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
