And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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