i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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