Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize