I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
