the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
