i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
