these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
