I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
