I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
