Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
