never play flip cup with pint glasses
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
