How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
