I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
