I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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