Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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