Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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