You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
